Dating on the Net: First Message to Your Prospective Match
Dec 31st, 2008 by Desmond Ray
Among various activities which everyone has to do in the course of online dating, writing the first message to prospective match is one of the greatest importance. Some useful tips on such writing are given below.
Choice First, address only those people, whose profiles attracted your attention. If you will meet someone of your choice, this already will be worth your effort. If you will not succeed, there is no reason for despair: thousands of new people are joining tens of dating sites daily, so you will be the winner sooner or later. Even if you having a good progress with one person, keep exchange with a few more at the same time. There is nothing wrong with that: by the time when you will get into a real relationship, you better have some options.
The challenge In a natural effort to make a good impression in the first message, many of us becoming either numb and lacking any words, or, even worst, start saying things that better not being said. How not to cross the line from decent self-presentation to a blatant (and hence repulsive) boast?
First of all, never dwell on some unanswered message. The network is too big for getting fixed on one person. Instead try to improve your writing skills. Find your own style, which works for you. Be creative, honest and optimistic. Your message will have better effect if it will be written as a conversation. Avoid anything which sounds square and trivial.
Key elements Your letter must be written individually for every candidate. People can easily tell generic letters, because they contain everything about the author, and not a word about other person, not a reflection on other persons profile. Therefore, in your first letter, you must mention something from the profile of your addressee. If you are writing to this person, then there better be a reason: what in this individuals profile turned you on? Ask questions and tell a bit about yourself. The purpose of your first letter is to start a conversation based on mutual interests.
Your toneYou are welcome to tease your addressee in the first message, but do it gently. Avoid writing anything about sex and dont claim yourself being a perfect match to him or her. This is your very first message, so, as long as you knowledge of this person is limited to his (her) personal profile, you better keep a relaxed tone, almost as if this is an introduction to a new business partner.
Few more tips If you will not hear back from her (or him), it is quite likely is that your letter was not just good enough. Do not give up, try again and always keep in mind that it is unlikely that you are the only one who is writing to this person. This should encourage you to make your letter outstanding, compelling your candidate to reply! Feel free to add some element of a mystery to your message, ask questions, try to answer them for him, or her. And, if you will succeed and conversation will ensue, never get dragged into a long online exchange, try to move to an offline date as soon as you can, because this is your purpose, this is why you have started all that in the first place!
