Dating Tips: Keeping the Girl
Jul 30th, 2008 by Vin DiCarlo
When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn’t keep around.
And that is quite depressing.
There are so many women that has the ability to be a great girlfriend.
But I had my head up my ass.
…maybe that’s a little harsh.
But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:
First, I tried to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I’ve never fully recovered. And stopped trying to recover. And that’s what’s made me move past this “proving myself” thing.
I’ve accepted who I am.
Sure, I like video games and comic books.
But…
Do you think women have cooler interests?
Is Myspace, shopping and getting drunk any cooler than what I’m into?
It’s all are the same.
What it really need is self-acceptance.
A woman won’t accept you if you don’t accept yourself.
Imagine a woman waiting to be your girlfriend and there you are not liking yourself?
She will HATE your presence and don’t want to be around you.
Because you can’t really like a woman, if you don’t like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!”
Based on my experience, almost all DON’T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I’m no exception.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
The degree to which your game becomes better is if you know the degree to which you stop these thoughts.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn’t stop after your opener, after “mating”, after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not separated from your game.
Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.
“But I’m nervous and insecure and awkward” you might be thinking. I disagree. That’s not you.
That is the distorted you.
That is you trying to come out, but the one that stop you from expressing what you really want to express is your ego and your old mental habits.
Before I proceed deeper, I want first to go to the second reason why I couldn’t keep girls around after sleeping with them.
I wasn’t aware of shaping.
Shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. You can’t shape if you don’t know what you want. The extension of self-acceptance is knowing what you want.
In fact, it is self-acceptance, applied to others. You encourage women to do to you what you like if you know what you like also.
You see, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Men usually implicitly tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.
But it’s not the woman’s fault. She’s just doing what she’s told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach a woman and treat her like she’s on a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach a woman and treat her like she’s lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.
Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I’ve developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And women are different from each other. For example, I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want one woman to be just a partner in bed. I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what we want.
I think of all the crappy, frustrating relationships I used to have.
And how frustrating it was to not see those women again using all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist.
But the moment I started to accept myself and finding out what I really wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is a about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, date, and sleep with.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.
