Deciding To Break Up.
Dec 31st, 2008 by topgear
It is never an comfortable decision when a relationship comes to the point where each person must make up one’s mind whether to proceed to the next level or to break up. There are many unusual elements that can make up one’s mind whether a relationship moves on or if the couple determines to break up the union. Renewing broken relationships takes a lot of work which many people are not inclined to put into an already hard relationship.
Help for troubled Relationships One of the most important steps in making the decision to either stop together or to break up is for the couple to sit down and candidly tell each other if they are happy to remain in the relationship. In other words, each person must commit to the other to pursue the relationship and work on their stressed areas. Sometimes it is a good idea to set a time limit on the work so that the relationship can be re-evaluated at that time, which gives the couple a real time-frame in which to implement some progress.
Once the conclusion is made by each party that they want to proceed with the relationship rather than breaking up, then the next step is to determine whether a third party is required to help sort through the troubled areas in the relationship. This third party brings an neutral point of view to the relationship so that the flaws in each individual can be covered in order to make the relationship as a whole even better.
It is usually a good thought to have the third party be someone other than a friend, unless it is someone that both parties agree upon as a person who loves both individuals in the couple so that one person does not end up feeling ‘picked on’ by the third party. Sometimes the third party will need to be a pastor or counselor so that a professional can bring their skills into helping each party in the couple improve individually and as a couple.
Ordinarily, the biggest problems that couples have is in communicating, so that many of the issues the couple might be going through can be resolved if each party sees the other party’s viewpoint. Many couples fail to figure that men and women communicate differently and view situations differently, so each person has to learn to communicate clearly to the other, understanding these differences.
In addition, the backgrounds of each person in the relationship, such as whether their parents are still married, how many brothers and sisters they have,if they knew any trauma in their lives, etc. can affect how the couple relates to each other in the present. Sorting through these experiences can help the relationship to heal rather than coming to the point of breaking up.
