Divorce: the Separation of Closely Connected Things
Nov 5th, 2008 by Benjamin West
Divorce is often used in reference to the dissolution of marriage. According to the dictionary divorce can also be used to refer to the separation of anything that should go together. Divorce can be rather shocking to those going through the end of their marriage. This is partly due to the fact that they were so sure they belonged together and now recognize they were wrong to marry.
Some friends who have been divorced say that they were surprised at their feeling of failure. However, having once been divorced myself, my reaction was different from the people with whom I have discussed it. Thoughts of ending the marriage and gaining freedom were in my mind for years before I was finally able to express them to my husband. Therefore, when the conversation took place, there was no shock on my part. The shock was his.
Any feelings of failure I had were because I thought I should have realized that my husband and I weren’t meant to be together in the first place. I thought that if we had recognized this fact before getting married, we could have spared our families a lot of grief and money.
My husband and I did not have any children so our divorce was probably different from divorced spouses who did. I admit that having no children may have had an influence on my feelings allowing me to feel a sense of relief once it was finalized instead of feelings of failure and shock.
I have gathered from many conversations with friends who have children and are divorced that the separation is tougher on the kids than on the couple. That is because divorce significantly impacts the children who are not involved in that decision.
With the exception of couples who marry for financial or immigration purposes, most people who decide to marry do so because they are sure they will be together for the rest of their lives. In reality, until you have lived together, you do not know if you belong together. As a matter of fact, my mother used to say you never actually know a person until you work or live with them.
After reading the divorce description in the dictionary, I do believe that one reason for divorce is that some people probably marry the one person they feel they go together with. Then, after living together, maybe even having children together, they find that they do not go together. Then they divorce.
