Extramarital Affair - Know the Warning Signs Before You are Stuck
Nov 29th, 2008 by Sally Webb
This is one unique article I’ve written on how a person can slip into an extramarital affair - sometimes without realising it. Let me start by saying a statement: unless you have little morals or conscience, I can safely bet that no one wants to be involved in an affair intentionally.
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don’t pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won’t realise it until after they’re stuck;
And by the time they know they’re in, it is impossible to get out without hurting someone’s feeling. So how would you know if you are starting to be engaged in an extramarital affair? Read on.
Most affairs begin when a person starts having some kind of connection with someone else other than their spouse. This can start anywhere: in the office, the regular social group, basically anywhere a person can create a friendship with someone else - whether or not attraction exists at this stage. This is not yet dangerous in any way - conscience and logic are still in place.
A friendship will then inevitably become closer - this is the very first sign of emotional affair. You will then start sharing more stories about anything and before you realise it, you will start sharing intimate stories with this new close friend of yours - the ups and downs of your relationship including problems you have with your spouse.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don’t know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven’t seen most of this friend’s bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
At this time your friend may start giving you solutions to your problems, sharing personal opinions - everything that sounds good to your ear and matches with your value.
Before you know it, you start comparing your spouse with your friend - and this is starting to get dangerous. You may already be emotionally involved with your friend to some degree - but of course you still have your conscience and extramarital affair may still be out of the picture.
The last stage of the affair is when deep emotional heart-to-heart sharing starts. This leads to an even deeper emotional affair as you start feeling the closeness, being understood and loved by the other person (your friend). You start wondering how life would be if this friend of yours become your spouse.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of ‘being loved once again’ or ‘finding a soul mate a little late’. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Before long, given a good atmosphere somebody will cross the physical line with a kiss or even the hand holding. If the situation permits this may lead to a sexual act - and yes it is a hundred times worse than a one-night-stand as it involves deep emotional intimacy.
It is then too hard to stop…
Ok wake up! I’ve written the above to show you extramarital affairs does NOT just magically happen. It comes with patterns, signs those are easily overlooked to make you believe that it’s part of your destiny. Being aware of those signs will certainly put more logic in your head, arming you with more weapon against the affair.
You must remember that even you are very vulnerable when it comes to emotion and you should not overestimate yourself. Do not naively believe that this will never happen to you because it can.
Pay attention, and be aware of boundaries.
