Flirting Without Words, Part 3
Mar 31st, 2009 by Joseph Matthews
Getting further into the mysteries of body language, I’ll cover how your posture, overall, can effect your success with women!
Many guys don’t realize that their posture is terrible in general. It’s even worse when they talk to women!
Our posture, and the rest of our body language, can betray us even if we’ve done a great job controlling the emotions that we show with our faces.
The good news is, we can learn to spot, control, and even use your postural language in your favor!
Take a good look at your physical posture when speaking to a woman you are attracted to. Overall, if you are displaying that you are displaying tension, nervousness, or poor self esteem, it will come through.
She’ll notice this as well. And often, she’ll mirror it. What we display to others, they will reflect right back.
That’s good news! If you put some positive, strong body language out there, and display a confident posture, it will help her feel more comfortable, and she’ll find your company far more enjoyable too!
Still, she may not be open. To know if she is, here are a few signs to look for:
-Watch which way her body is turned. Is it towards you? That’s good; if it’s to the side, take a hard look to see if she’s preoccupied. This includes feet too - generally they lead, in fact.
-Which way is she leaning? If it’s backwards, and she seems distracted, that’s not a good sign. On the other hand, if she’s leaning forward, and can’t keep her eyes off you, then you are doing well.
-Does she appear open or closed off? Take a look at her arms and legs. Are they crossed tight, along with her leaning back? Or are they open, accompanying a forward lean? You’ll want the latter to be true.
-If she’s oriented towards you, leaning forward, and fully focused, you are in good shape. If her head is slightly tilted to one side, it’s also good.
Those are good indicators to see where her interest is. There are a few that are even better though, but they aren’t specific.
If she is “mirroring” you posturally, this is really GOOD. It shows a congruence between you and her; If you lead, she’ll probably follow. And don’t be surprised if you find yourself following her lead too.
What does this look like then?
You’ll have the same side of each other moving towards the other- so if you have your right shoulder forward, she’ll have her left, and vice versa.
This is a tremendous advantage to you - you can mirror her, without her knowing it, and she’ll see you more positively than if you didn’t!
There are also gender specific gestures that are common. Watch for her. Odds are, if you are comfortable, you’ll do these naturally, so don’t worry about yours in particular.
For her, watch for her trying to heighten the display of gender specific features, such as arching her back to show her breasts, or crossing and uncrossing her legs to show them.
The key, overall, is to pay attention and be aware of these signs. They will help you make better decisions when meeting women!
In the next part of this series, I’ll write about how your gestures effect the outcome of your approaches.
