How To Get The Second Date
May 6th, 2008 by Pam Baldwin
Before you get too far into this you need to ask yourself if you really want a second date with this person. You need to take into account whether or not you have any type of emotional connection with them. If your personalities appear to be compatible and you have similar senses of humor then you’re probably going to say “yes” to want the second date. However, if these qualities are present then if you approached them about a second they would probably say yes anyway.
If you’re coming from a dating site, your first meeting is really the “second date.” Dating websites let you get to know each other before you see face to face, and getting to know each other a little is the purpose of a first date. How to get the second date is the same as getting the first meeting.
The number one trick to getting to second date is just being yourself. Being calm allows your date to get to know the real you. If you are nervous and stammering that’s not the real you and could spoil your chance for a second date. Be self confident is an extremely attractive quality to other people and makes other people want to be around you. Your date should be able to know you as your close friends know you.
Be confident but not so overconfident it puts people off to you. In order to develop that level of confidence you must first succeed in those situations where you must exude that confidence. That’s where the problem is. If you aren’t successful in those situations then it becomes extremely tough to be confident in them. The best thing to do is fake it until you do develop that confidence. The first few times you try it you may be freaking out in your head but keep your composure and play it off. Keep anything self destructive you might say about yourself to yourself and it will work out much better. After a few successful attempts it will get easier each time.
Now, that’s just how to act normal. To become likeable you have to be able to admit your short comings and not become defensive if they are brought up. On the other hand you don’t want to put them in the spot light either. If they do come up at some point show your sense of humor by making a small joke about it and move on. If your date tends to focus on them throughout the duration of your date then you probably don’t want to ask them on a second anyway.
Don’t always expect fireworks with the first meeting. Emotional connections are easily spotted but not always so easily forged. If you and your date make eye contact with ease and have aspects in common then you know you are developing one.
Ending the evening at the high point is crucial in getting the second date. This leaves your date wanting to spend more time with you. That right there is the true key to getting the second date.
Don’t fake an excuse to leave or you’ll seem uninterested. Rather, set a time limit at the start of the date (an hour or so is good) and stick to it. Unless it’s going really well. Then you can have the second date in the morning.
