How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship
Mar 18th, 2009 by Jeremi Hany
How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? Here are some clues:
You partner always tries to put you down in front of others. While your partner may tell you they love you, their action always contradicts what they say. You partner is always trying to control you and doesn’t respect you. He or she will read your mail without your permission. Your partner may even stalked you just to see what you are doing. Your partner also want you to be dependent on him or her, and even try to change you.
Toxic relationship is simply draining and will just limit your growth. So, you might be wondering why someone can end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone be willing to stay in a relationship that is full of abuse, whether physical or verbal?
A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation, at which point the cycle begins anew.
Initially, when you first meet someone new, this is usually the honeymoon period. It is only when you are too deeply involved that you realized this is a toxic relationship. By then, it is probably hard to get out of it.
A common reason why some people end up in toxic relationships is because they grew up in a toxic environment. Therefore, they simply repeat the patterns of their childhood without being conscious about it. They simply don’t know any better. Others believe they don’t deserve to be happy. While they are others who like to be the caregiver.
If you want to get out of a toxic relationship, the very 1st step is to realize that you have the power to choose what you want. Often, people who stay in toxic relationships suffer from depression or have low self esteem.
As soon as your realize that you do have choices, you should start to learn how to stand up for yourself. In almost all toxic relationships, you are taught that it is always your fault. Do not buy into this, or else it will be very difficult for you to walk away from the relationship, or even do something to change it.
For some, it can be helpful working in therapy groups. This can help them get out or heal a toxic relationship.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
The 1st thing you have to decide is that your relationship must improve or you will not hesitate to move on. If you are not willing to move on and walk away, it will be very hard for you to heal what divides you.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support”, “I need your love”,or “I need your truthful opinion”.
As long as you do not get what you need, let the other person knows that you will not hesitate to walk away.
A healthy relationship is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
