How to Win Your Ex Back - Four Tactics
Oct 13th, 2008 by Marc Sandford
A tactic is defined as a plan for achieving a particular goal. In this instance, your goal is getting your girl back and repairing the root cause of the break up.
1.) To start, you’ll have to gradually ease her back inside your relationship. A wound won’t heal instantly. Some time is required to heal a damaged relationship.
Instead of attempting to repair things as rapidly as you can, you’ll have to figure on a month for emotions to cool down. While you’re waiting, you need to be sizing up how much you value the relationship. Think about issues such as whether you truly want her to be a part of your life and personal changes that you will make to give your relationship a good shot at success.
2.) When this cooling off period is over, you’ll have to find a way to open up the channels of communication once again. It is vital that you build up a good degree of comfort and ease with her. This basically means being a good friend and being able to converse with her in a way that is relaxed.
You shouldn’t have any discussions on serious issues that place pressure on her. Now is not the time to be talking about the separation or other serious relationship issues. There will come a time for this type of talk but it will have to be at a later stage.
If it seems impossible to establish a friendship, then you’ll have to allow more cooling off time. Nonetheless, one month really ought to be the maximum. Excessive time apart will allow your partner to get comfortable with living without you. In addition, it increases the chances of another boyfriend to enter the picture.
3.) There will come a time when the important matter of resuming the relationship will have to be talked over. Bringing this up is going to be a very awkward and delicate time. However, you can’t afford to be spending too much time as her friend. If there is no chance of convincing her, you need to know this so that you can get on with your life.
Don’t be putting too much hope in her agreeing right away with resuming the relationship. A response that is non-committal means that the prospect of restarting the relationship is still on her mind. It will simply require some more time for her to know either way.
4.) A tactic to try out is to exploit something that everyone has done at one point or another. What I’m talking of is the inclination that we all have to play back emotional events several times over in our heads. When a person says something that induces a very powerful emotion, we like to replay that moment over and over in our minds.
This is how we process feelings that we have about a particular emotional circumstance. Typically this will happen when a person suddenly says something mean or snide that seems to come out of the blue. However, this phenomenon can also be induced with an unexpected compliment.
For this to work, you will have to provoke a very strong positive emotion. This will have to be a compliment or gesture that she normally wouldn’t expect to get out of you.
If you succeed in this, she’ll be enjoying this repeatedly in her mind when she is by herself. Her good feelings about you becomes strengthened and reinforced with every “play-back”. You probably won’t be able to induce this state more than a couple of times, but one or two times is all you’ll have to do.
With skill, these tactics should help a lot in your campaign to get your ex back.
