Is Your Spouse Cheating on You?
Aug 18th, 2009 by Ray Bowne
Confrontation with an unfaithful spouse can be challenging. In this situation, what to avoid can be more important than what to do. Since it is difficult and unfamiliar, few people understand how to approach the situation effectively. Strong feelings of betrayal and a violation of trust can interfere.
The first thing to remember when confronting a cheating spouse is to try and remain calm. This may be difficult as your spouse may not react calmly when you confront them. In fact, they may become very angry.
Frequently but not in every case this type of reaction is an indication of guilt. Spouses that are not committing adultery will likely let loose some laughter or be stunned at the proposition. Few spouses who have actually done nothing wrong will explode in anger.
If your calm attitude can outlast their upset one, it can be very helpful. An angry and loud verbal scuffle will produce no positive results and should most definitely be avoided. Your attitude and demeanor will inform theirs, so set the tone for level headed conversation.
This can be the most difficult part of confronting a cheating spouse. Remaining calm when all of your emotions are in turmoil will be extremely difficult. But doing so will allow you to control the direction of the conversation. This will help your spouse know that you are serious and that you are taking control of the situation. Your calm demeanor will also rub off on them and it may keep them calm as well.
Your spouse may want to start accusing you of being responsible for their cheating when you confront them. This is normal. It is easier to place blame on you then it is for them to take the blame for their actions. Doing this is their defense mechanism. Do not fall prey to this tactic. It is best to admit that you are not perfect, no one is, the difference is you do not cheat out of your spouse’s imperfections, they did. Remind them of that.
The final thing to remember when confronting a cheating spouse is whether or not you intend to work on the relationship or end it.
