Marriage is Hard Work But Divorce is Harder
Nov 4th, 2008 by Simon Blake
Divorce is a common occurrence in today’s society with as many as 50% of marriages resulting in divorce. Some speculate than one third of children are from families divided by divorce. Statistics for second or third time marriages are even more dismal. We all like to think that marriage is a holy institution that will last forever or, at least “until death do us part,” especially when it comes to our own marriages. However, wishing for this to be true and working to make this true are separate things and only one has any hope of achieving results.
Marriage is hard work. How many times have we heard that cliche? Yet how many people throw caution to the wind when marrying and do not heed those age old words? While some couples find marriage to be absolutely effortless until their dying day, that are the exception and not the rule. Acknowledging that marriage is hard work, and putting in the effort is the only way to prevent divorce.
To work effectively on a marriage, we first need to know where to focus our efforts. This may mean first spending some time reflecting on your life and your marriage to determine what the root of the problem is, rather than focusing on a string of little grievances that are easy to identify but not the true source of your unhappiness. Two of the most common problems in marriages are a lack of communication and a lack of romance, but it’s important to dig deeper to find the source of those problems and begin working on them before they become insurmountable.
Simply knowing the issue does not solve it. You must communicate your feelings to your spouse. This may be easier said than done, especially considering that unhappiness if often the product poor communication or lack of communication. It may help to enlist the aid of a professional to help communicate your feelings to your partner. Even if your spouse refuses to see marriage counselor, attending alone may still be beneficial.
There are also countless books on the market to help boost communication. This step focuses on expressing your feelings, not dealing with them just yet. When you and your partner understand each other and acknowledge the gravity of the situation, you can begin to work together.
Finally, solve the problems. Some issues are definitely easier to tackle than others while some problems may take a great deal of time and effort. Communication may prove a tougher barrier to break than creating more time for romance and intimacy.
Stubborn habits may be difficult to overcome and a help from a professional may be invaluable to creating healthier habits. It is this point where commitment and effort are necessary. We may have to face our fears, faults and weaknesses as well as show our vulnerability - all of which can be trying and uncomfortable. However, dedication can be rewarding to the end.
