The Devastating Effects Of Infidelity
Sep 5th, 2008 by Alex Archer
Infidelity in a marriage is one of the greatest challenges your relationship may face. Deciding what to do if you are suspicious of your spouse, have evidence he or she was being unfaithful, or are considering infidelity yourself is not a decision to be taken lightly. Infidelity may be permanently damaging to your relationship.
There are broadly two approaches to dealing with infidelity once it is detected: some people have no tolerance for infidelity, while other people, particularly if the spouse is remorseful, want to try and make the relationship work. Most people do not fall on the extremes of these views, but rather somewhere on a continuum between the two extremes. Options such as counseling can, over time, help to determine if the relationship is worth saving and if so, cementing it. Counseling can also be helpful in transitioning out of a relationship, if that seems like the best option. Regardless, it is best to take your time with any decision.
If you’re working things out with your spouse, you may need marriage counseling to guide the two of you in the process. Very few people are unfaithful unless there are already existing problems in their life. Therefore, these will be the issues that will need to be addressed in counseling. The effects of infidelity on marriages will also be a large topic of discussion in counseling.
The effects of infidelity on marriages can result in the termination of the marriage in a lot of cases. Hence, this is a very delicate matter. You don’t want to falsely accuse your spouse of cheating, but you also have a right to know if your spouse is being unfaithful. There are lots of signs of infidelity, but some may not concrete evidence that your spouse is cheating.
As relationships progress they are bound to change in some ways, however some changes might be regarded as suspicious. If your spouse is spending substantially less time at home or engaged in activities in which you don’t participate, this could be an indicator he or she is being unfaithful. Another key sign is a decreased interest in intimate relations with you. While not certain, this sign alone is troubling and may be cause to visit a marriage counselor, even without proof of infidelity.
Suspicious behavior might also include spending time with new friends without extending an invitation to you. An extreme example of this might be regular calls from a member of the opposite sex or an increased frequency of hangups when you answer the phone at home.
The other side of infidelity is if you are considering being unfaithful yourself. Interest in romantic or sexual relationships outside of your marriage might be cause to evaluate problems which may have arisen in your marriage. Communication, perhaps facilitated by a marriage counselor, is a good way to head off these problems before they progress further. Infidelity is, in many cases, a point of no return in that it permanently damages or destroys the relationship.
Time, careful thought, and when appropriate, expert opinions of counselors can he helpful in guiding you decision-making process. Deciding what to do with marital infidelity is not a decision to be taken lightly. There are many possible lasting effects of the decisions you make, so be sure you take your time with them.
