The High Cost Of Divorce, Financially, Or Emotionally
Jul 31st, 2008 by Alex Archer
Despite the images that are sometimes portrayed in the media, a divorce can be a bitter experience even if the parties involved are fairly friendly through the process. Should there be kids involved in the crossfire, the experience of a divorce can be made even worse. Children can be left feeling like there is something missing with the breakdown of their family structure, ultimately resulting in many children having feelings of being abandoned and left by their parents. Other more severe emotional concerns can crop up later in life as a result of a divorce as well for children.
Whilst divorce grabs the headlines for its financial impact especially on the husband, the human cost far outweighs the financial burden.In a case where children are involved the emotional cost can be severe.Fathers feel removed from their children and find it increasingly difficult to engage with their children and this separation can lead to depression as they try to identify their role as a divorced father.
The mother can often feel trapped and overwhelmed.Whereas previously the burden of rearing children was a shared experience where one partner leaned on the other for support, that safety belt has now been removed and mothers’ can feel overstretched to provide the nurture that their children need in this most difficult of times. This often leads to feeling of resentment and misplaced anger.
Children, as stated before, often bear the brunt of the divorce’s costs despite not being directly involved. A marriage that disintegrates without much friendliness between the parents can leave the children having misguided resentment against them for dissolving the family. Additionally, the children can lack the maturity to deal with the divorce properly, which can lead to a stunting of coping skill development.
Many times, kids feel like they are responsible for the parents splitting, which can also have major emotional ramifications. They can be hesitant to develop emotional bonds with other people, have difficulty making friends, and can ultimately feel awkward in social situations.
Beyond the children, though, the parents can feel emotional scarring if they are cheated upon while in the marriage. Feelings of rejection and distrust of significant others can result, and the person can feel like they’re always going to be cheated upon. The partner that committed the infidelity can feel as though they’re guilty of hurting someone to the point that they may never forgive themselves.
No one really makes the decision to get married with the idea that they will be divorced afterwords but divorce nevertheless is a real occurrence that affects people everyday. A good healthy divorce that has very little fighting or inconvenience to the family is the best way to do such a process, for the sake of everyone involved. No one comes out ahead as a result of a divorce, so keeping it friendly can make the process easier.
Ultimately, the process of divorce can be emotionally tough but can also be the start of something better for all parties involved, as they may be able to emotionally find someone that better fits their personalities and lives. Remember though that no matter what your marriage looks like, the costs involved with a divorce may be more to bear than the costs of keeping your relationship together.
