The Really Good Reasons to NOT Wait to Have Sex
Aug 14th, 2009 by Astrid Engels
Along with dating comes a whole list of questions. Questions like what to wear, where to go, who pays for what. There should be a rulebook; figuring it all out ourselves is exhausting work. And that’s before contemplating whether or not to sleep with someone.
When you checked each other’s internet dating profiles all seemed interesting enough, so emails and phone calls were exchanged. And there were certainly some sparks. Now it’s face time and that’s where the fun begins. Not to mention the confusion!
Let’s assume you’re one of the fortunate ones and you’ve hooked up with someone who gives you butterflies. The question you’re asking yourself now is “do I sleep with him/her”. If the answer is yes, then the next question is “when?”
Provided you don’t have any hard and fast rules or personal convictions about sleeping with someone right away (which I totally respect by the way) here’s an idea. The sooner the better. Read on for the why.
Why #1
Sex is an important part of a relationship. If youre me, its very important but thats another story. Sure, there are many qualities in a mate that matter, and ranking sex high on the list doesnt make you shallow. It makes you realistic.
Think of dating as a job interview only in this case you are interviewing someone for the job of a lifetime! And you want to ensure that you select the right guy/gal for the position. For this particular job, sexual compatibility is a must. So having sex early in the relationship is all part of the interview process; you’re doing your due diligence. Because heaven forbid you hire someone who isn’t qualified!
Getting closer
What is dating really but a series of steps we take that we hope will lead to long term intimacy. That is if everything goes well. Our brain however, can work against us while we take these steps. We start to over analyze what we should or shouldn’t do. Usually this is based on insecurities arising from past experiences.
Sex on the other hand, is nature’s way of using our bodies in our favor. Most people want to have sex; we just follow our hormones and go with the flow. Once you’ve decided to have sex, it becomes much more of a physical, rather than a cerebral, act.
I know, I know, youve heard a million times that you should already be comfortable and intimate with someone before you jump in the sack with them. But I find it misguided advice. I can assure you, after someone has seen you naked; its a hell of a lot easier to strip down emotionally with them.
Tradition may cause you to wait a certain length of time before getting in between the sheets. I think you can throw those traditions out the window. Putting sex on the menu early on in a relationship is a great way to get to know someone and determine whether or not you’re compatible. As far as I’m concerned, that’s worth throwing the rulebook out the window for.
