Ways to cope with stress - don’t worry!
Nov 7th, 2008 by Matt Hellstrom
My life has always been filled with worry. So when I came across something that opened my eyes to this and how to get a handle on it, I paid attention. I have really found an answer on how to start letting go of the worry.
People who have known me most of my life can attest to my worrier status. I am the poster child for the Worriers Club, maybe even president. I don’t know if I was born with this or learned it, but my mom too struggles with worrying. That may be where it came from, I don’t know. One thing I do know is that I worry over almost everything and I too know that my worrying has never changed a thing!
First of all, all the worrying in the world is not going to change the outcome of something. I used to worry about my kids being safe on their way to school. Of course, I set up rules and provisions to try to keep them safe; I told them not to talk to any strangers, and made sure they didn’t walk alone. I was a proactive parent, and I did what was considered advisable to keep them safe.
But when all is said and done, they could leave the house, turn the corner and get hit by a car, fall and hit their head, lose their way and the list goes on. There was nothing I could do to stop it and my worrying couldn’t stop it either.
Up until to now, thank goodness, this has not occurred. Actually, there has never been anything substantial happen to any of my 5 kids. And my oldest is in High School. That adds up to a lot of worrying with no need. So this brings up my next idea.
It seems that most of my worries never come to fruition anyway. Wow - it made me start changing my philosophy. I now try to weigh how realistic my fears are to determine if I need to worry about it or not - still in the process of not worrying at all, ok? I got to chance to start this process when my 9-yr old got to have a plane ride from his Sunday school teacher for memorizing bible verses. Now his teacher was a pilot so the chance of anything happening was slim. So in figuring out the odds that something might happen, even though it appeared dangerous, I knew that I didn’t need to worry all that much.
Lastly, worrying can actually bring on problems. I’ve been self-employed for over 20 years. When you’re self-employed, you know that every month can be an adventure, as far as income goes. There are no guarantees. Well, one of my biggest worries is money. It can be so bad that it can immobilize me - I can spend way to much time fretting about paying the bills, and organizing my Quickbooks, and not near enough time actually working to bring in money. The worrying can overwhelm me and bring about the problem that I’m worrying about. This isn’t good or necessary.
My wife and I have found a solution to this income worrying issue. She now pays the bills as she doesn’t seem to be as big of a worrier. And it also gives me back the time I was worrying to work so we can bring in the money.
If you want to know how not to worry, try to readjust your thinking in the 3 ways I’ve outlined above. And remember what the Bible says: “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
